Love and romance are in the air! As soon as December 26th hit the stores stocked their shelves with red hearts, boxes of chocolates and adorable teddy bears. Just when you’ve made it through the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season successfully here comes Valentine’s Day reminding you again that you’re single.
Did you know that Valentine’s Day is the second largest holiday for giving greeting cards? Valentine’s Day is also the saddest holiday for singles who long to find true love.
Like many single women I’m sure your prayer has been “God I want to find true love, i.e. send me my Boaz.” And frankly there is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to God about wanting Him to send you a spouse but allow me to share with you what is wrong. We certainly have this idea in our minds of what true love is and isn’t. Growing up those Disney movies programmed us to believe that men would come in and rescue women. He would be our Knight and Shining Armor. Women would have that princess wedding and the two would live happily ever after. Well now that we are all grown up; we know that fairy tales are just that… fairy tales.
Do you find yourself asking yourself: “When will I find true love? Why does it seem so difficult to find true love?”
True love is romantic and delightful but finding true love is just like those fairy tales we grew up watching. Yes, it’s a fantasied thought that media has embedded in our minds to make us think that we too can find it. Don’t look at me like that. Stay with me because I’m going somewhere.
True love isn’t something that is found. It’s something that’s created by two people who are willing to truly love. Let me explain. No person comes ready-made just for you and you don’t come ready-made just for them. Sure, you were sold the idea that Ms. or Mr. Right would be “perfect” and you bought it. Right? Of course. Many of us did. I want you to exchange that idea for the truth. The truth is that love is a choice and true love it’s not something we find it’s something that we create with the one that is willing to truly love us.
We are all unique. Meaning we have different character traits and personalities that are unique to who we are. Therefore, we must learn how to adapt to others character traits and know when to adjust ours in order for two to begin to create the relationship that you desire. We have to learn how to work together, how to communicate and understand each other, and therefore how to truly love someone else other than ourselves. Side note…I hope you love yourself…but anyways. We teach people how to love us by sharing with them what hurts us, what makes us happy and so on. If they are not willing and if we are not willing to love them how they need to be loved than we will not be able to create the love relationship with them that we desire. Remember, we create, shape and mold the kind of love relationship we want to have, that is, if we are willing to truly love.
As a single woman I understand your pain on Valentine’s Day and your desire to want true love. No games, no lies, no deceit, no drama. Just true love. As a single woman I also understand that I can’t just pray for a spouse. I must pray that I become that woman now, that one day will be willing to create true love, based on the foundation of love as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. My love will not just be on February 14th but will be 365 days.
On this Valentine’s Day instead of focusing on your singleness focus on becoming a better you and learning how to love yourself as well as learning what it will take to create the love that you desire in a relationship.